So I’ve spent months trying to pluck up the courage to write an update on here, but in all honesty, I’ve been feeling really down about how this year has gone. I’ve written and deleted this post at least 20 times before now. I felt like admitting to failure again would make me appear dumb or incapable in some way. But life isn’t perfect, and I think it’s super important for you guys to know that.
Unfortunately, I failed a couple more exams (including the OSCEs) and I’m having to resit them in January. It’s weird how scary it is to admit failure, especially since it’s actually such a great learning experience for the future. I like being honest on my blog and I’ve a lot of regrets this that I thought I’d share with you guys, and hopefully, you guys will benefit from knowing that failing isn’t the end of the world and that you can definitely bounce back better than ever.
I’d say the biggest regret I have is not working as much as I clearly needed to. I had underestimated the number of hours I needed to put in and my work ethic was very much still at a first year level, which obviously won’t get you through second year exams.
The next regret I had was that I didn’t enjoy the course enough. All the modules we had were incredibly interesting and had I stopped and looked a little harder, I would’ve enjoyed the course and taken more interest to work.
Another big thing I regret is relying too much on hoping cramming would get me through the year. I think many students are familiar with this and up until this year, it had been working pretty well for me. But something I’m quickly realising with medicine is that with the amount of information you’re expected to comprehend and learn, you just can’t do that. Lesson learned.
So what now?
Well, I’m still alive. The sun still set and rose the day after results day, and I have two months to turn my grades around. I guess you could say I’ve shifted up a gear. If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that failure gives you two options: give up or improve and keep trying. I’ve chosen the latter.
Phew! Now I’ve finally gotten that off my chest, I hope you guys are having a much better summer than I am!